Title: "all these fake people sayin' hi to one another"
Tags: ICP - I'm Coming Home
Blog Entry: Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} p {mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} Alright...now that I'm starting feel some semblance of being human again... I shall write. Today has sucked... but, it's midnight so the day is over right? Won't go into too many deals...it takes too long these days. Grandma went home this morning. The remodeling is still not done, but there's too much for me to do these days so it'll have to be good enough. It only took me 15 minutes to get Sephie to bed today... vs the 45 it takes when Grandma is here too. I'm supposed to be keeping a daily log of my activities for my therapist... but guess it doesn't matter because my insurance just got cancelled. Woohoo. Sephie has hit her terrible 2's. I've had “no” screamed at me at least 5 times in the last two days. And hit with several objects... including a flying fork to the lip. 3 foot tall people can be such a pain. But! I did have a topic I want to write on... well several, but most of those are not blog-y type stuff. Might post it later. For now...at what point does a person just flat out approach everything with the mind frame of "what do I get out of this?" Yes, I know it sounds crude. Seriously though... I've always lived by the theory that some people are just not worth it. Unfortunately I'm related to several of them. I deal with others' on a daily basis. What guidelines are there for worthiness? I couldn't give a fuck less about someone's financial status or attractiveness. These are common guidelines. There's someone in my life that my roommate says I'm like a fan girl to. He doesn't get that this person, when things are good, is one of the few intellectual stimulants that I have. He doesn't understand that this person is very passionate about many of the same things that I am passionate about. There's a bunch of other people out there... that are similar in my mind for various different reasons. There's one that I keep around despite habits of randomly disappearing (just a friend!) because he's one of the most honest and responsible people I know. There are a few people at my former school that I just flat out don't agree with, politically mostly, but they make great references. And there's this big group that I get slim to no good things back from. I deal with them out of obligation. I hold my tongue when I want to tell them they're a bunch... ahem.. yeah. Yes, some of them are family. Some are friends of friends. Some are former friends. Note: my daughter is NOT in this group... she does offer positive things (not that she's trying to please me or anything ) in return for my efforts. At what point do I literally point out to these people that I'm not their fucking slave? I do not exist solely to be a target, a chauffeur (my car is about to flip 10k miles...I've had it for 9 months and never been out of state with it), not a maid or any other kind of labor that anyone else would be paid for. Shit, I need to make a phone call. Write first...call in moments. See I know how these people are. They help out others when it's convenient... which is rarely. The only thing I do when convenient these days is sleep. People suck.
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