Title: "When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am"
Tags: Goo Goo Dolls - Iris
Blog Entry: Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} So, finally got my laptop back. Yeah, it was only about 5 days but I use my laptop for just about everything short of TV viewing… which I often download anyway. The power adapter finally went dead on me, so I bought a generic one off of ebay. Stupid mosquitoes… Checked my normal parenting boards… someone posted a survey about what their kid can and can’t do. Nothing like that to make someone feel like shit. See the thing is I know my kiddo is smart. However, she has the attention span of a…oh I don’t even know. I can’t even get her to go through all 12 color flash cards much less teach her shades of colors, the alphabet, counting, SPANISH (yes folks… apparently people teach their 2 year olds second and third languages), number or shapes. What the hell? I mean I’ve seen some of these videos of these kids saying the alphabet… and they just go “a,a,a,a da, ,da,da,” etc. Spellcheck did not like that one. Are the others oh so advanced that they can actually say the alphabet? I might have to post on that one on there. Of course it’s a group of about 80 females and y’all might know about how well I get along with other females. Oh hell let’s be honest here; other people. Other news…Thumper just got laid off again. He’s got this idea that I should just get a job and that’ll be that. He doesn’t seem to understand how much more difficult it is for me to get a job. Lesson for y’all (if anyone reads, heh, no I’m not fishing for attention, just being realistic) having a college degree does not make it easier to get A JOB, it just makes it easier to get a BETTER JOB. That does not mean there’s better jobs available. Mind you, I’m trying… well now that I have my laptop back I’m trying anyways. I’m in the process of applying to a job that I quite simply do not want on principal, but pays well and it’s theoretically stable. Le sigh, and it’s exactly the kind of thing I wanted to avoid by going into psychology and not social work. Unfortunately the market is flooded with Psychology degrees so you have to have at least a Master’s degree to get anything worthwhile. Even then you have to compete with MSW’s which I recently found out are preferred by insurance companies because…they’re cheaper. *groans* The funny thing is…it’s now been spoken that I don’t want to live with him unless shit changes… and he STILL wants me to get a job. What’s that say? Hrm, I want a job either way. I want to go back to school. I don’t want to have fight tooth and nail to keep my fucking health insurance… (ironically Thumper’s on the county insurance…which I am considered “too low income” for, growl) My recent attempts at being more social have failed miserably… Total strangers still look at me like I’m weird… and I don’t have to say a word. I even went the route of trying to find other people with small children so Sephie would have someone to play with. Got a whole lot of “oh I have to go…over…there.” It pisses me off to no extent that someone won’t even acknowledge my child because of their impression of me. I took her to the park the other day and she tried to give a bunch of sand box toys to someone else, this person… who was probably in her 30s…wouldn’t even LOOK at her. She gave me the evil eye from hell the minute she got up to leave though. I’m going to take her to the mall’s toddler hour next week if I can manage it. Maybe if we go outside the city then we’ll find people who aren’t stuck up bitches. Otherwise…well I tried to Craig’s List…as I might’ve written. A few of the responders didn’t even bother to READ what I wrote. Now…here’s the thing I write here…and in my LJ for me. If I post something on a freakin’ message board the least people could do is read it before responding. There was one person I was thinking about meeting off of there, but schedules clashed (thank you mother) and I think he found a life. Ha. See if I was smart… I would just grab someone I trusted to keep me out of too much trouble and just go take a few...sure we’ll say a few…shots at a bar somewhere and be all social and shit. Of course they still look at me like I’m weird, but at least I don’t care quite so much at that point. The good news? Well one of my fav people is moving to town next month. That’s pretty nifty. Hopefully…the cancerian nature won’t run out find the first willing chicka and forget I exist. History, folks… Damn cancers.
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