"Honey why you calling me so late, it's kinda hard to talk right now..."

I have the most fucked up sense of obligation ever...

And I still get no credit. Right now I have my grandmother living with me. Yeah, 4 fucking months after I offered to get a bigger house so she could live with me. Why? Because my dipshit of an aunt just now decided to get her house remodeled for Grandma. Oh I know that sounds nice of her. Grandma's paying for it. And she's decking the bathroom out with shit that grandma doesn't give a damn about. And she's had 4 months to do this. Just now starting it.

The thing that really pisses me off is that her daughter, my cousin, had the NERVE to say that I wasn't doing enough. MOTHER FUCK!!! I take my mother to her cancer treatments every weekday. i take her to the ER almost every other week. I take care of Grandma every day now. Not too mention my daughter and my house.. and my pets.. I suspended my own medical treatments months ago to take care of my mother. I cannot sit down for more than two seconds lately without someone needing something. Just for record... my grandmother needs help with everything except sitting on the couch. And well.. if you know what a 2 year old is like... and sure someone else lives here... and yes he helps out ot some extent but he goes into PSP land within an hour of waking up and it's damn hard to get him out of it. 

But no, I'm not doing enough, not good enough... f-u-c-k t-h-a-t 

Cuz you know what I want to do? Seriously... I want to go find the thing that makes me... 

*sighs* I need to drink more and stop listening to this damn song.

Ended up taking Grandma to a family friend's house for fireworks... she actualyl stayed in good spirits despite not really wanting to be there. I dunno it went well. Last year I got wasted enough to try the Jack Daniels someone handed me. Big. Fucking. Mistake. I am so, uh sensitive, allergic take your pick, to that stuff... So I guess I can't bitch too much about this year in the end. 

Tags: hinder _ lips of an angel